One artist's reason why ...

I spent the last few weeks trying to watch as many Oscar contenders as I could. I used to be so good at having seen so many but as the years past, I found myself not even knowing the titles of the movies. This year I decided to reattempt to watch the nominations, without push, just try. I am so glad this was the awards season I got back into it.

While there has been a lot of discussion of the nominated movies for various reasons, I found the season had several films that spoke to the power of art and the power of emotional connection as humans through art. During the viewing of several of these films, I found myself either crying, unable to speak or at a beautiful pause of reflection. Often after watching, I sat back for hours in deep contemplation examining my own feelings and my body’s visceral reaction to them. It got me thinking. This is why I am an artist.

I once was a creator within the world of film and theatre. Over the years, my ability to exist in those worlds faded for numerous reasons in the way that I wanted to be of those worlds. But as they faded in those worlds, my existence and desires rose to be part of this one, the world of a painter.But the reason behind myself as an artist never wavered, regardless of the artistic medium I explored: to connect through our humanity. While I don’t believe in universal experiences in the way some might, there is one thing that remains clear to me, art helps us to see ourselves in the works of others.

Do you remember the scene in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, where they go to the museum and as the other characters are doing their thing, Cameron is frozen before a painting? The camera pans in shot by shot as you realize he is looking at the smallest tiny figure in the art and recognizes a truth in what is represented before him? If you haven’t seen the movie since its an 80’s teen flick, you can find this particular clip online.I highly recommend watching it with sound on. The fact of the matter is that when we are in love, pain, sorrow, fear, joy and everything in-between ,,,, we search our music, our movies, our art, our books for someone who understands and if we search long enough, we will find that person.

And so I make art to find that person or maybe people that will stand in front of the work and find themselves within it. Not as a figure to hold onto, but an experience, an emotion, a dream or energy…. a quiet whisper or loud curdling “I feel seen.”

Photo by Jim Carmody